It is 5am, dark and still.  There’s an hour left before our ride to the airport to catch a flight to Pennsylvania for a family Christmas.  I’m looking forward to seeing my creative elder daughter and boyfriend, my brave sister with her children and my sweet cousin and his partner who will get their marriage certificate while we are there so we can celebrate together.  We plan to cook healthy food, make guilt-free sweets, have a disco party, lounge and make sure we get outside to move.  I remind myself that it is a blessing to have family that is like-minded.  My inclination to stop celebrating holidays, at least for a while, is making this one easier.  All I really want is some time alone.

My interior life has been more intense than usual this last week.  My treasured guides suddenly turned demonic.  At therapy, my “inner parts” showed up dead, dismembered and bloody, followed by a shift into deeper spiritual faith that holds firm during the persistent violent visions that I’ve been having for decades.  Even though I’ve been exhausted lately, I discovered a way of breathing into my body that restores my energy without changing my schedule—although I DO have a plan to slow down after the holidays.  I feel in touch with a source of bliss—which comes and goes as I cycle in and out of old and new ways of thinking and being, learning to surrender graciously into the present…

There’s more clarity about my path ahead: I’ll be ready to restart my book on German New Medicine in January instead of spring.  It’s amazing how quickly life can change when I change on the inside.  Writing may be the best thing I can do without burning out.  For now this seems to be the most realistic scenario.

During this process in the last few months, I’ve been unable to keep up with emails and phone calls, trusting that I’ll catch up once through this particular phase of healing that demands stopping everything in the evening and going to bed, even if all is not done.  Hard to do; I’m sorry to those of you who have been trying to reach me—hoping to get back to you in January.

Finally, here’s a Christmas gift from the book Simple Abundance, A Daybook of Comfort and Joy by Sarah Ban Breathnach:

    If, as Herod, we fill our lives with things, and again with things; if we consider ourselves so unimportant that we must fill every moment of our lives with achieving, when will we have the time to make the long, slow journey across the desert as did the Magi?  Or sit and watch the stars as did the Shepherds?  Or brood over the coming of the child as did Mary?  For each one of us, there is a desert to travel.  A star to discover.  And a being within ourselves to bring to life.       Author Unknown

May we set inspiring intentions for the New Year!

warm hugs and thank you for being in my life,

katherine