My brother and family are visiting and we have packed ourselves into a large rental van, on our way to visiting our middle sister in upstate New York. Grandson Felix is strapped into his car seat beside me, holding a Pikachu and talking non-stop. He’s good car company and I look forward to driving the 8 hours back with him alone. It’s a beautiful day.
This month has been much better on the healing front since finding my thread again. Exhaustion still rules my life, joints and muscles are sore to the point of sometimes being unable to move, digestion is still upset (though better), one eye is blurred by a cataract (now legally blind on that side) and I’m carrying extra weight complete with cellulite. But on the inside there is a delicious growing sense of presence, of coming home.
When speaking to Ilsedora Laker, my GNM teacher/mentor about my symptoms, she acknowledged that although most of them are solidly in the healing phase, these complaints should have been completed months ago. I am in a “hanging healing” according to German New Medicine. The fatigue and weight gain are related to the low thyroid part of the picture—which happens when one lets go of having to control one’s life. Hanging means that an issue keeps getting retriggered and doesn’t get totally resolved. It could be that I keep trying to take back the control, grin!
We discussed why this is the case, why I’m not finishing my healing so that these symptoms will cease and my energy comes back. The answer is simple: I’m still not giving my process enough time, energy and focus.
Yikes. What more can I cut out, I thought immediately. The monthly and annual retreats are cancelled. Most social invitations are politely refused. The only things left are patients, clinic meetings, GNM intros, Felix care (non-negotiable) and treats like sudoku puzzles and the occasional movie or book on tape (the books are already stopped—too compelling/distracting).
This is not the time to decide. We are now at my sister’s home and I need to get off my laptop and join my family. But when I come back, I’m going to take a day retreat at the pond cabin, complete with facilitation by life coach Sandy Rawson, a new addition to our clinic team (she’ll introduce herself in the next newsletter). I will take the time to figure out how to give my healing the focus it needs while creatively keeping my responsibilities to the people around me…
On another note, this season is early fall, time to start cleansing in order to avoid colds and flus. My own routine is to take a dropper of milk thistle tincture 1/2 hour before breakfast, which is a Vega One protein drink. I eat a little lighter the rest of the day and stay away from all sugars other than a bit of fruit, a major concession for me! And I make sure to get enough movement, especially bouncing gently on the rebounder, my favourite way to get my lymph to clear and take away morning sluggishness. Later this fall I’ll do a more intensive cleanse with moderate fasting.
Other than that, we are getting ready for Felix to go to senior kindergarten in Carp (on the bus!), continuing to fix up the house for a bed and breakfast (the only way we’ll be able to have people stay at the centre overnight now that I’ve dropped the rezoning application) and dealing with the insurance claim for the new car which was totalled last week by my younger daughter (no serious injuries).
It feels like there is indeed enough room in my life to carve out more healing time and I feel a sense of eagerness about it.
here’s to your own smooth integration into fall energy!